11 September 2007

Letters to the Editor

Trade magazines love to excite controversy in their editorials, possibly because the existence of a new mounting package for a resistor or perhaps a new angle for a screw thread doesn't have the verve of a sex scandal or the excitement of a land speed record. If things are slow, a gratuitous comment about immigrant engineers or an advertisement with a scantily clad human female holding a voltmeter is sure to draw out forces for good in the community with the predictable and polarized responses.

The editor of Design News is a bit of a whiner. In a March 2006 issue she delivered a somewhat intemperate diatribe about a misbegotten schnurg who had the temerity to use his Blackberry while attending a press conference. Worse, he was sitting next to her. Evil incarnate! I would have ignored this editorial (as I do most) but since this particular issue of the magazine had a cover article on hybrid vehicles, I thought it would be nice to slip in a notice for my web site. Hence the letter below, published in the 10 April 2006 issue.

IT'S THE RULES THAT ANNOY ME

I just read your Blackberry editorial and can only ask "Why the fuss?" The "user" was operating a chair, not a motor vehicle. He was pressing buttons quietly, not bellowing into a cell phone. He wasn't paying attention at a press event, presumably missing the vital information that will propel you and the other rule followers to the top while he sinks into the muck.

Rather than find it "intensely annoying" when people show contempt for rules, I find it distressing that so many rules are promulgated. If a rule serves a useful purpose, e.g., "turn off the cell phones," OK. If its effect is simply to be meddlesome or officious, I prefer to think of it as an opportunity for entertainment.

And, speaking of entertainment, take a look at www.PriUPS.com — it goes perfectly with your lead article about using hybrid vehicles for power.

Richard Factor Little Ferry, NJ

Which is not to say that I disavow any part of my letter. I truly feel there's too much of this bothersome rulemaking going on. If you are thinking of promulgating a ukase, here's free advice:
  • Is the putative rule both of actual value and not overbroad?
  • Will it be entertaining for you to watch people trying to obey it?
If you can't answer yes to either question, find some other activity to take your mind off the urge until it passes.

By the way, my rule, Conservation of Text, isn't really in either category, but it is mine.

10 September 2007

The Furniture Phase

I fear that I have been wrong. Many years ago I derived a "law" from observation. This law of nature is stated simply: No matter how expensive, complicated, useful, impressive, or downright spectacular a technological product may be, it will soon be obsolete and find its "highest and best use" as furniture.

Examples:
  • Old teevee sets can be used to support flowers, knicknacks, and, of course exploding penguins. With a modest effort they can be turned into cabinets or even aquaria.
  • I still use a CRT monitor in certain applications because it can support equipment on top of it - try that with an LCD flat screen.
  • Not so long ago, a 10Megabyte (5 fixed, 5 removable in a cartridge) "Winchester" disk drive was the standard in corporate data processing. The HP drive I still have has a lovely wooden top and to this day serves as a fine table.

Alas, with the speed of light as a limitation, for our gadgetry to get faster, it must also become smaller. Many of today's prized items — game consoles, radios — might be made to serve as bookends. (Books?)

But when we start using eyeglass displays that paint information directly on the retina or when a single disk drive can store all the accumulated knowledge of the Krell, our reality will become so virtual that it will be necessary to deliberately make such things as tables and cabinets out of raw materials such as trees. If, of course, we still need furniture.

This is a Test

Put the following terms in order, lowest frequency to highest frequency:

___Extra High Frequency

___Ultra High Frequency

___Very High Frequency

___Super High Frequency

Pencils down. Are you SURE you have them in the right order*? Unless you looked it up, or work with microwaves daily, all you think you can be sure of is that "VHF" is the lowest, and maybe "UHF" is next, since you've heard of both. But shouldn't Ultra be the highest? And which is higher, Extra or Super? Fact is, calling frequencies by names makes almost no sense. Each stands for a range of of numbers, and keeping them in order when you know what the numbers are is a lot easier. But these things get started benignly, i.e., with "VHF," and suddenly we're trapped when we need to go further than expected.

What got me started on this rant against the silliness of naming frequency ranges? It was the incomprehensible scheme of abbreviations for computer monitor resolutions. The resolution of a computer monitor is a pair of numbers which tell how many "pixels" it will display. For example, the standard 15 inch LCD monitor has 1024 pixels horizontally and 768 pixels vertically. It's resolution, therefore, is denoted as 1024 by 768. Its area is determined by multiplying the horizontal and vertical pixel count. And this number is tells you how much information the monitor will display. If you consider 1024 by 768 as your reference, then a 1280 by 1024 monitor will display about 1.7 times as much data. This is really simple math. Even CNN employees can probably look at monitor resolution and determine how much data it will display compared to a monitor with different specifications.

At least they could if the monitor's resolution was stated as a pair of numbers. But guess what! Instead of this pellucid scheme, we are treated by the computer industry to the following:

QVGA VGA SVGA XGA WXGA SXGA WSXGA or WXGA+ SXGA+ WSXGA+ UXGA WUXGA QXGA WQXGA QSXGA WQSXGA QUXGA WQUXGA HXGA WHXGA HSXGA WHSXGA HUXGA WHUXGA

Thanks to WIKIPEDIA you can look them all up. As an example, HXGA an acronym for Hex[adecatuple] Extended Graphics Array. Or, I suppose, you could say "4096 by 3072." But why would you, when you could obscure the information by this idiotic miasma of alphabetical obfuscation?

One minor computer extravagance of mine is the desire for a monitor with lots of room to display data. In fact, I typically put two monitors on a computer, and might even use more if the process weren't so confusing. I'm always perusing monitor ads looking for high resolution at a good price. And whenever I find an ad that makes the resolution impossible to determine without research, I ignore it. Take that, Mr. Advertiser (not to mention names, CompUSA).

I would end this screed here, but I mentioned the theme of today's blog to my friend Terry, who came up with such a marvelous example of graduational obscuritanism that I feel compelled to offer it here. Ready?


Descriptive Name
Atlas
Super Mamouth
Mamouth
Super Colossal
Colossal
Giants
Extra Jumbo
Jumbo
Extra Large
Large
Superior

Presumably "Mamouth" is actually "Mammoth," but who knows? Certainly not I, because I don't purchase olives, whose sizes are incomprehensibly listed above! Is Starbucks a piker or what?


*Find the correct order at this electromagnetic spectrum summary.

The Monopolists In Your Wallet

Not counting your national government, which has a presumably legitimate monopoly on the creation of currency, you are also most likely bearing the avatars of some of the largest and most rapacious monopolies extant. These monopolies are so powerful that they absorb tens of billions of dollars of money every year without a peep of complaint, either from the government trust busters, or in most cases, the lickspittle cliques of appeasers in the ranks of merchants and consumers. Yes, that's YOUR money they're absorbing!

I refer, of course to the credit card companies. And that paragraph you just read is, of course, quite the exaggeration. You're actually giving your money to them. Willingly.

What are you babbling about? I love my credit cards and would be lost without them! And those year-end rebates - I love spending them at exotic places I fly to with my frequent-flier miles that I also get from the credit cards.

You fool! Don't you realize they're poisoning your mind and draining your precious bodily fluids? We have got to stop them! (Time for my meds??? Already? OK...)

OK, I'm a little calmer now. Let me 'splain. To begin with: I don't hate credit cards or credit card companies. They perform a number of valuable services, including facilitating online commerce and eliminating the necessity of carrying that unsightly cash. Well, at least one important service, anyway. And, it should be no surprise, they make money doing this. When you buy something with a credit card, you get billed $100 and the CC company gives the merchant $98*. They keep the difference, which goes to pay their expenses, which are similar to those of any business. They include salaries, rent, profit, frequent flier miles, and the $1 rebate to you. In effect, the merchant is giving you a discount for using your credit card. The poor guy paying cash gets nothing.

So what's the problem?

You, Mr. CC fan, just paid $99 for your $100 purchase. The guy who paid cash just paid $100 for his $100 purchase. But you both only got $98 worth of stuff! Why? Because Mr. Merchant, a fellow who enjoys eating food with real utensils in a home with the normal complement of walls and appurtenances, knows that if he gives $2 to the CC company, he can only give you $98 worth of stuff for your $100.

So what's the problem?

Let's say Mr. Merchant sees an opportunity to make a few extra bucks. He offers a $1 discount to cash purchasers. He thinks, not surprisingly, that a cash buyer will buy from him rather than pay $100 elsewhere. The cash buyer saves a buck, the merchant makes a buck.

So what's the problem?

Mr. Merchant can't do that! He is forbidden to by the credit card company contract. Can I make that pellucid? The CC company is telling an independent merchant how he may conduct business with a third party, business that does not involve the use of a credit card!

That's the problem, or at least the first half of the problem.

The second half is that you and I can't start a new credit card company with a different business model. Let's say that we decide there would be a good opportunity for a credit card that would offer immediate rebates. Instead of giving the user a 1% rebate at the end of the year, we'll give it to him when he makes a purchase. Is this a good idea? Will it work? I would think so; I'd rather have a dollar now than a year from now; perhaps others feel that way too. Our new credit card will be a roaring success. Or not. We're capitalists and entitled to take a risk on starting a business with a different model. But whoops - we can't do this. Not because we're unable to, not because the merchant doesn't want to, not because it's illegal, but because a third party - the original credit card companies, have by their actions prevented the merchant from contracting with us. How so? The merchant can't discount his goods to someone paying with the new RIKL card. (It was my idea: I get to name it, you get to supply the startup funds. We're still capitalists here.)

Well, then, can we offer a card that DOES allow the merchant to offer a discount for cash? Sure, if you can imagine a counter clerk saying "If you don't pay with the VISA card, it's $100, but if you don't pay with the RIKL card, it's only $98." In fact, no business model that allows the customer to pay a different amount based on which card he uses, or whether he uses a card at all, is permitted.

If a brief summary will help:

1: One party tells a merchant how he can deal with his customers, whether or not that party is involved in the transaction. Monopolistic and in most cases, illegal.

2: One party prevents contracting with another party since their contract terms preclude different terms with anyone else. Monopolistic.

3: The one party, in aggregate, has an overwhelming share of the market, making it impossible for the merchant to cast them aside if he doesn't like their terms, and he has no power or option to negotiate different ones. Monopolistic, or at least oligopolistic, a distinction without a difference in this case.

If a brief analogy will help:

In most states, when you make a purchase, you get dollar's worth of goods for $1.05 to $1.10. The difference, of course, is called "sales tax." And it's collected by the state government, which has passed the tax laws and owns jails. In effect, the CC companies are also collecting a tax, the 2% difference between the "proper" price of the goods, and the price the customer must pay. Perhaps you remember voting them into office; I don't.

If you've been following (casually) the recent lawsuit by merchants about credit card fees, I should point out that the discussion above has nothing to do with that. That lawsuit seems to be more about the amount of the fees than the terms of the contract. However, if the contract terms were modified to eliminate the monopolistic practices I decry, this lawsuit would lose its relevance. The CC companies could charge whatever they care to, the merchants could compensate by charging more for CC transactions, and the customers would make the final decision by paying either with their card or with a check, currency, pieces of eight, or goats and chickens. The point is, everyone gets to choose what's best for them - the decision isn't made by the credit card company. Many people, myself included, would prefer the benefits and protections of a CC transaction for, say, an online or eBay purchase, and would happily pay the surcharge. I just don't think that surcharge is warranted, and should not be decreed, for every enterprise that accepts credit cards.

Pegged the rantometer today!

*The numbers and percentages I'm using are for clarity. They are not the exact amounts which vary all over the place and you can bet are calculated to the penny and small fractions thereof.


Follow-Up:

Guess what? The above rant is not entirely accurate. In fact, you can't surcharge credit card sales, but you can discount sales for cash. Why didn't I know it when I originally wrote this? Because it's a double-secret, that's why!

09 September 2007

The Oblivious Poet

So this friend of mine sent me (for the second time, just from him, not counting all the others,) a compendium of Jewish haikus. You've seen it. Of course you've seen it. Among them was the oldie but goodie,

Lacking fins or tail
the gefilte fish swims with
great difficulty.

I chided him with the instant response "Been making the rounds for years. I thought gefilte fish swim in jelly." I swear I didn't give it an instant's thought. Really.

He's more compulsive than I remember him to be. He counted the syllables and informed me that my reply was "cool." It took me longer to understand that I had written a haiku than it took me to write it.

My putative limericks never scan properly. Perhaps I picked the wrong poetic form in which to express myself.

Speaking of Death...



I'm sad to report the tragic death of the Sky Bar as I know it. This chocolate-of-my-youth has become a casualty of (I'm guessing) manufacturing efficiency. Behold the new Sky Bar!



Back when you could buy one for a nickel in a subway vending machine, the individual segments were lovingly filled with the appropriate confection. Different flavors! Different consistencies!



Now it even looks more homogeneous. The individual compartments have essentially identical consistencies and all taste the same. The peanut butter lacks grit, the fudge lacks firmness, the vanilla is 100% flavor free, and the caramel? Not even gooey!

I'm never going to buy another case of these, assuming I live long enough to finish the one I just got. (Which I shall so attempt. They're still chocolate, right?)

And — not that everything was better back then — but neither I nor anyone on earth cared that our Sky Bars were manufactured "IN A FACILITY THAT ALSO PROCESSES TREE NUTS."

Keep Your Radio Station in a Shoe Box

I've been "tasked" to write 300-400 words for a "product spotlight." I wonder if the domestic equivalent of "tasked" is "honeydewed." Today's blog, therefore, is an advertisement. I am not going to waste the result of a "tasking" for purely commercial purposes.

Back when I worked in radio, we would record each day's programming on a "Soundscriber" tape. These tape reels were large, hard to store, and sounded glitchy. Locating something you wanted to hear first required estimating how much tape was on each reel. As unpleasant as this process was, those tapes were precious. After all, they were our station! Once a signal goes out over the air, without a recorded log it's gone forever. You spend millions of dollars a year, not to mention your creativity and zeal, creating something unique and — without a recording — pfft*! If somehow I had access to a modern Eventide VR615 logger back then, I would have bought it myself, brought it home, and made sure that I would personally have complete memories of those exciting days.

Well, I didn't and no longer do. But you do and you can. And, with any luck the station will spring for the logger so you don't have to. Things happen on the air. When they do, you want to be able to recreate them if necessary, or just remember them if not. (And sometimes, sad to say, you may need to prove they did or didn't.) Your log archives are your station and unless radio is just a job to you, they're also your life!

A dedicated, reliable, multi-channel logging recorder is more necessary than ever for the usual reasons: No, he didn't say that. Yes, we did run that spot at 08:32. Hey - check out that new sponsor on our competitor's morning show. Choose a logger with full-bandwidth capability (did we mention the VR615?), and you can even rebroadcast old programs when they are suddenly news again. Choose a logger that can deliver audio over your local network and everyone at the station can excerpt your (or your competitor's) programming without assistance. Choose a logger that can deliver audio over the internet and "live monitor" your station (or any connected local station) anywhere in the world. Choose a dedicated, rack-mount logger that is designed to integrate into the broadcast engineering environment so you don't have yet another PC to administrate in your spare time. (Yes - I'm certain we mentioned the VR615.)

But most importantly, choose a logger that conveniently makes sequential and permanent archives on inexpensive, flat, easily-stackable media. Your future self will thank you, and when you are asked if you've ever had amnesia, you can point to your shoebox instead of saying "I don't remember."


*Yes, it's in the dictionary!